I really enjoy writing my Teen Mom blog, but at some point I decided that I needed a creative outlet that had nothing to do with my severe disdain for MTV's resident meth-head, Jenelle Evans. Thus, like a Phoenix rising from the ashes, Manicures and Musings came to life. Just so we are clear, this is a blog about absolutely nothing. I have no audience, content, or general direction. You could almost call it a random collection of my ramblings, like a journal, but not quite as introspective. If you are looking for something more substantial, this may not be the blog for you. Please, leave me your views in the comment section.
First order of business, Real Housewives of New York is back! Ramona Singer and those crazy eyes filled with delusion are gracing my screen weekly, and we WILL be discussing it! If that is truly the very first thing I've decided is newsworthy, I am glad to be beginning this blog, because it's clear I need a hobby... Whatever, I love the Real Housewives. I find them ridiculous and entertaining, true escapism. I am, however, missing True Detective! (Matthew MccConaughey, come back to me!) Everyone knows we need 30 Rock back. Because a life revolving around television is boring and wasteful, I've also been refining my collection of books. Does anyone else read anymore? I'd love to be in a book club with James Franco. He's very well read. I just love a good, used, hardcover. Most recently, I've delved into the wonderful world of Don Quixote. If you've never heard of this book, just fucking kill yourself, because it's the oldest most successful book of all-time, aside from the Bible. By the way, I don't understand why everyone is so crazy about the Bible anyway? Every story in this book is clearly a fable, defying every law of possibility imaginable. Everyone, calm down. People are so serious, about everything. Look, I'm not hating. Whatever tool you want to use to get through the day, thats your business, and I'm not judging. (If you are offended that I don't take the Bible seriously, this may not be the blog for you. Please, leave me your views in the comment section.) Anyway, I digress. If you have read Don Quixote, I'd like to bounce something off of you: If this book were written today, don't you think there would be a group of Americans boycotting it and labeling it as "glamorizing mental illness"? Haha, the main character is clearly mentally incapacitated, right?
Maybe that's something worth discussing. Everyone always wants an apology. It's okay to be offended. It's okay to be offensive. We do not always have to agree on everything! This is AMERICA, hello?! Do you know the history of America? Here is a brief modernized history for you:
We were in a long-distance relationship with our boyfriend, England. He always wanted us to Western Union him MORE money and we decided we'd had enough. We were doing all the work and he was just sitting on his couch watching BBC, so we dumped his bitch ass! Well, England was extra pissed. We didn't care!
T H I S I S A M E R I C A !
Goddamnit! You're mad? Stay mad. We are Americans. "Have gun, will travel", remember? So, we took all our our ex's stuff, mostly tea (what a weirdo!) and like any angry ex-girlfriend, we cathartically threw it over a bridge and never returned his phone calls. Bye, Felicia! Now, here we are over 200 years later and we get along fabulously. We gave them Beyonce, they gave us Adele, and we both agreed to send that nuisance, Amy Winehouse, to the Caribbean. Everyone is happy. No one needed an apology. No one needed restitution. We just put on our brave face for the kids and carried on. If you are offended that I spoke poorly of the deceased Amy Winehouse, this may not be the blog for you. Please, leave me your views in the comment section.
Okay, I'm going to get a laser facial.
Have a great day!
Bye.
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