Living in the Hotel California

I am in dire straights. I am out of sticks. I am out of carrots.

I fear this may be my last journal entry. 

Allow me to begin where any story should: at the beginning. 

What is life? Vol. 1

I labeled this "What is life? Vol. 1", because I ask myself that question anytime I'm at a true loss for words, so prepare yourself. Today, I decided to begin a ton of projects all at once and see what sticks. Item number one, I've begun the arduous task of financial planning. Last night my dad asked me, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Oh my God! I don't even know what I'm doing next weekend. I could become a doula, a lactation specialist, a world class chef, a pro surfer, an investor, a proprietor, or maybe a mom?! So... stayed tuned on that front. I literally have no idea whats going to happen.

Kim isn't even TRYING!

Every Girls Weekend You've Ever Been On

Why are girls weekends necessary? Isn't it obvious? They are necessary because sometimes you need to drink wine in a condo near the beach and bitch about other groups of girls who are exactly like you, and that you dislike. Duh!

Meet Amelie

My four year old niece, Amelie, and I recently had our first and last book club meeting. The following is more or less the conversation that transpired:

Aunt V: Hey, cutie! Whats new? I've missed you! Are you still liking your big girl school? 

Amelie: Mmmm..Yes! It's nice. Everyone is nice. School is nice.  

Aunt V: Oh, well that's good. I've just been hanging out with Uncle Andryw. I also read a book recently that I think you would like. It's called Don Quixote. It's about this knight-- 

Amelie: --- like Mike the Knight? 

Aunt V: Yes, exactly like Mike the Knight. Well, he rides around on his donkey - 

Amelie: -- Donkey Oatey? 

Aunt V: Yes, Don Quixote rides around on his donkey- 

Amelie: ----The donkey rides a donkey? 

Aunt V: No, Don Quixote, the knight, rides his donkey, Rosinante.  

Amelie: The donkey is a knight? umm... I don't think so, Aunt V. 

Aunt V:  No, the Don isn't a knight, but he wants to be, and he DOES own the donkey. 

Amelie: Okay, so the book is about the Donkey Oatey and he wants to be a knight so he can ride a donkey named Rosie Auntey?

Aunt V: Nailed it.

I don't think we'll be forming a true book club anytime soon.

An introduction

If you are not into literary references, pop culture, reality television, and Andryw Racca, this may not be the blog for you.